Mamas Happy

I’ve been putting off this blog post for quite a while.  I have such mixed feelings about it and it kinda hurts to put it out there.  Here goes nothing….. J

Backstory:  This is probably not a surprise to any of you but just in case.  I opened an Etsy store called Southern Girl Up North at the beginning of 2015 to sell hand-painted wooden signs.  The thought behind the store was to donate all of the proceeds to help Bea’s fight against Multiple Sclerosis.  I had been struggling with the fact that, because I was so far away from her, I wasn’t able to help out or just be there like I used to. 

 

Early in the Fall last year, I found a super cute store in downtown Saint Paul called Mamas Happy.  The store is a retail location for Annie Sloan's chalk paint.  The store sold the most adorable home décor…..most of which was painted with this chalk paint.  I fell in love instantly!  Everything had a very rustic, worn, farmhouse look to it. 

I started dreaming about becoming a vendor in the shop to sell my Etsy signs.  I visited the other store locations – Independence, Stillwater and St Louis Park – and even took a workshop with my sweet friend Amy to learn chalk paint techniques. 

It was around this time that Mamas Happy hosted their annual Artisan Market.  On the Saturday of our State Farm polo match (more on that to come), I swung by the outdoor market and the rest is history. 

 

Once I got my nerve up, I bit the bullet and submitted my vendor application.  I explained my mission and what the sale proceeds would be used for and basically laid my heart out.  Immediately afterward, I was nervous as a cat waiting for their reply.  On the vendor application website, the powers that be at the store warned that they turn away very talented artists every single day.
 

A few weeks later, I got the email from Mamas Happy saying they would love to try my signs at the Saint Paul location.  Oh my gosh!  I was on top of the world!!  I was shocked, inspired and immediately scared to death!!

I could not get into my craft room fast enough to start painting!  It was perfect timing……I would start with Fall/Thanksgiving designs and go from there.

Mindy at Mamas Happy wanted to start with 8-10 of my signs and see how they sold.  I dropped them off on a Sunday and literally cried the entire way to the store and home from the store.  Thank goodness Jim was driving because I was a nervous wreck!  I was so incredibly worried that they wouldn’t like the signs and would change their minds.  All the while, I was scared that I was going to let Bea down. 


Goodness gracious…..I was a mess!  Bless Jim’s heart…..during the middle of my meltdown, he looked me in the eye and said, “Who cares if they like them?!  Your stuff is awesome.  If they don’t like it, f**k them!!”  I was way down deep in my crazy to hear what he was saying;  it was a rough road trip.  J

As the weeks went on, I checked daily to see if my signs sold.  Every time a sale would pop up, I would practically pee my pants!!

The second trip to the Saint Paul (to check on my inventory) was much more pleasant than the first.  My signs were scattered through the shop and I honestly could not believe it. 

  

Then it was time for Christmas and a whole new collection of signs.

  

This all sounds great, right?!  It was awesome!  I was finally in retail!!  I had sold 15-20 signs since I started.  I was sending my profits to Bea and felt like I was really making a difference again. 

That’s when I got the email – just after Christmas – that “the store was going in a different direction for 2016 and would no longer carry my signs”.  My darkest insecurities came true…..I felt completely rejected.  I called Jim right away so he could talk me off the ledge.  He said the same thing as before:  “F**k them!  Your stuff is good!  You don’t need that stupid store anyway!!”  Good Lord, how I love this man!!

For the next several weeks, I couldn’t even look at my craft room.  My feelings were so hurt! L

Then I started reading this book:  Jesus Calling

It had been recommended by one of the blog writers.  She used it each morning during her quiet time with Jesus.  In total transparency, I had not spent quiet time with Jesus in quite some time.  I prayed when I thought about it…..mostly in the car during errands or if I felt something/someone on my heart.  I had not made devotional time with Jesus a priority.  Simple as that.

The idea behind Jesus Calling is to spend time each day with God.  There is a short encouraging reading prompt each day with Bible verses. 

 

So it began.  Each morning, I would read the prompt then journal about what that Bible verse meant to me.  The more I read/reflected on these words, the calmer I started to feel.  That Bible verse or part of the short reading prompt really stuck with me during the day.  I found myself more focused on finding out what God wanted for me instead of what I wanted for me. 

Let’s be honest….there is no such thing as the perfect Christian (for proof, just look back at my post from Friday)!  I’m the first one to admit that I would fall short of the bar every single time.  There have been times when I’ve seriously questioned my faith.  I’ve wondered if what I was taught was real or made up to make us humans feel better during our life on Earth.  I haven’t visited a church since my kids were in kindergarten at First Baptist Church in Grand Prairie. 

As I spent this daily time with Jesus, I found myself feeling lighter and happier and more focused on what matters.  Now, I don’t get up extra early each morning to do my devotional.  In fact, I usually read/write during the first few quiet moments at work.  But you know what??  It’s working for me.


I’m still a far cry from where I want to be in my walk with Jesus but I’m so grateful for the last few weeks.  I’m so grateful that God didn’t turn his back on me even though I didn’t make him a priority. 

 

You might wonder where I’m going with this.  I’m getting there.  J

Since I got that email from Mamas Happy, I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed for God to show me his plan.  I knew my heart was in the right place with this Etsy store but I was never quite sure which avenue to take to make it successful.  Heck, I still don’t!  I can tell you this, though.  I know God has a plan for me and that everything happens for a reason.  When I start to doubt myself or get frustrated with what I perceive to be “limbo”, I make a conscious effort to stop and look up.  When I start feeling anxious, I start praying.  I pray for patience, for peace, for guidance and most of all I pray with a thankful heart. 

So……this post was a mixed bag of emotions.  I’m still kinda bummed about Mamas Happy but I’m not feeling as rejected as I did before.  I know God has a plan and he dreams so much bigger than we can.
 

Today’s verse was Matthew 28:20…….“I am with you always.”  The last words Jesus spoke on his way to heaven. 

I’m smiling as I finish this post.  What a friend we have in Jesus, right??  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  J